in any way you can,
in any way that’s available to you,
in any way that you could possibly know how to.
even if it means waking up for a run in your favorite shoes before even the roosters say hello,
even if it means finishing three different shows in one night, staring wide and teary-eyed at a laptop screen a few shades too bright,
even if it means blank eyes, lying on your back, tired lips mouthing one,two,three,one,two,three,one,two,three when anything else can’t keep the thoughts out of your head.
even if you don’t know,
even if you don’t remember–
what living is.
maybe you can’t pick your life up right now;
but you can always pick up a pen,
pick up a new show,
a new hobby,
a new way to style your hair,
a new origami pattern to waste hours on trying to attempt,
a new joke to make you laugh at night when the walls get too quiet and the mind gets too loud;
maybe it’s too hard right now to pick up a new mindset,
but maybe it’s okay to just pick yourself up for now and go eat breakfast;
maybe that’s what living means for now,
and maybe that’s okay.
even when Death smiles at you from corners, from ceilings, from behind well-meaning eyes.
You don’t have to change right now.
just try to live.