In the darkness, my feet found their way to the ground,
unwavering, unwavering in the silence, I was able to stand,
for in the near distance, in the meadows bathed by the sunlight,
I could hear your voice calling out only my name,
and somehow it was all I ever needed.
I had always felt safe in your arms,
wrapped up in velvet so tightly I could breathe out nothing but blissful sighs;
My hands were never cold in the warmth of your presence,
as you led me through universes
I could never have imagined for my own.
Am I allowed to indulge in this contentment?, I wondered.
Am I allowed to partake in this small portion of happiness when the world around me is as bleak as I’ve ever seen it?
And yet your embrace never loosened,
and against my better judgment,
I began to find home in you.
I keep asking why, down the abyss where our memories used to thrive.
Was a promise of forever only for naught?
I underestimated how secure my hand was in yours,
now that I’m flailing for a handhold and am greeted with unforgiving cold air,
now as I search for the warmth that has long become crucial to my sanity;
You built my hopes and desperations around you,
only to let go,
leaving me unraveling in the wake of your unfulfilled promises–
Yes, you promised!
I was in the dark, and you saved me, and you promised!
But in the end, maybe it was all too simple to tell a girl you love her
and then leave her alone.
I came from the darkness,
and you left me there,
and maybe that’s where I belonged all along.
– “Marissa, ii.”