It’s 1 am
And I’m thinking about the past
Words I shouldn’t have said
Things I shouldn’t have done
Regrets
Regrets
Regrets;
An ocean of swirling grey
Ashes
A battlefield
Too calm to be turbulent
Too turbulent to be calm
A still expanse of water to the viewer,
But only the voyager knows its wrath.
Where does it end?

It’s 2 am
And I’m thinking about the future
But try as I might,
I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to be looking at;
Where others see a rainbow
Or others see rain
I see an endless sheet of cloudless sky
Stretching way beyond my vision
Endless and
Endless and
Endless;
And maybe it’s a little poetic,
Heading off into nothing,
An abyss
Unfathomable,
A color indescribable.
Where does it start?

It’s 5 am
And I’m thinking about the present
A strip of land in the middle of here and nowhere
Hopelessly and
Pathetically and
Irrevocably
Real;
I feel the earth under my feet telling me
I am here
This is now
But I’m floating
I’m standing still and yet,
Floating;
And the only thing keeping me grounded is the belief that I am;
A battle of willpower
When I don’t even know what I’m fighting for.
Where am I?

As I lie awake
With tendrils of light persistently filtering in
I’m clinging
Desperately clinging
Grasping at what’s left of reality’s melody;
But when today is yesterday’s tomorrow and tomorrow’s yesterday,
And when the promise of surreality feels realer than everyone else’s reality,
And I’m wondering if any of this really matters,
I can’t help thinking–
Is this really where I’m supposed to be?

– “Separate Roads”

LL.

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